1. How have feelings of guilt affected your relationships with other people? How have feelings of guilt affected your relationship with God?

Psalm 51 records David’s reaction to the remorse he experienced over his two worse actions – murder and adultery. But more than that it shows us how to overcome the overwhelming guilt which can cripple us. That David’s spirit was flooded with regret is apparent from the psalm, but he also shows us the way out. God caused this psalm to be written to not only be a public statement of David’s remorse and repentance, but also to clearly show us the path out from under the burden of stifling guilt.

David’s guilt was a direct result of his actions, but sometimes we are haunted by feelings of worthlessness over some imagined wrong. We may feel at blame because we think we don’t do enough for our family or our spouse, we may feel we were disappointments to our parents, or we may be convinced we are unproductive contributors on the job. Whatever the cause, feelings of guilt can overwhelm us so much that we feel miserable, or in extreme cases we may find we cannot interact normally with our family and friends.

Nothing we have done, or imagine we did, could be any worse than what David did. And yet here in this psalm we have the clear picture of God’s forgiveness. This should encourage us.

I believe David gives us 12 specific things we can do to deal with the overwhelming feelings of guilt which may have silenced our joy and crippled our spirit. Let’s examine this psalm.

To the leader. A Psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

2. Read 2 Samuel 12:1-13. What is your impression of Nathan from this account? What is your impression of David from this narrative?

The event referred to in the title is recorded in 2 Samuel 12:1-13. The prophet Nathan comes to David with a story of a rich man who took a poor man’s only lamb for his own. The king’s reaction is recorded in verse 5, "Then David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, ‘As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die.’ "

After David pronounced this sentence, Nathan, in one of the most courageous acts recorded in scripture, tells David (verse 7), "You are the man."

Instead of being angry with Nathan, David realizes that the charge is true, as Nathan related to him in verse 9, "Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight?" David is filled with remorse and flooded with guilt. In verse 13 he tells Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord," which are almost the identical words he writes in Psalm 51:4, "Against you, you alone, have I sinned."

Even though Nathan tells him (verse 13), "The Lord also has put away your sin," David is filled with sorrow, and he proceeds to pour his heart out to God. Fortunately for us, he recorded his thoughts in Psalm 51. David slowly found his way out of the darkness of his guilt and despair. God caused this psalm to be written and passed down through the centuries so that those who are also burdened with guilt can discover the way out. Saints of God have found this psalm to be a comfort and encouragement to them, and you can too!

Repetition of the Hebrew Phrase

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.

2. What do you think David meant by "my sin is ever before me"? Why is it necessary for us to have the assurance we are cleansed and forgiven by God?

This is Step 1 in dealing with guilt – Acknowledge the reason for your guilt and obtain God’s forgiveness once and for all.

Being overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, whether real or imagined, has been happening to people of all generations. In this psalm we read of David’s remorse which occurred in 1034 B. C. In the Fifth Century B.C. Euripides wrote these words, "Woe, woe is me! I will tear my hair and scratch cruel furrows in my cheeks.... Why should I cover it? My crimes against my lord are manifest and clear, they cannot be hidden.... I deeply mourn my fatal deeds of daring: alas! I am now accursed in all men’s eyes!"

Share why you think we have such difficulty forgiving ourselves.

Guilt is not new to the human race. Many people are burdened for years with feelings of regret. Sometimes there is a definite cause for these feelings – a sin that has overtaken us and festered in our conscience. Other times there is not a definite reason for our guilt, only a general feeling we are somehow inadequate. In Psalm 51, David shows us the way to victory over guilt for both a definite sin and also the intangible feeling of shame.

The first step is to obtain God’s forgiveness and turn your reproach over to God. Place it at the feet and in the mercy of the one who forgives us. This is what David did in verse 1 when he prayed, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love." God’s mercy is abundant. There is no reason for us to be carrying around with us the heavy baggage of guilt.

Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment.

3. Why do we try to rationalize and make excuses for our wrong behavior?

This is Step 2 – Admit that there is no rationalizing your wrong behavior.

David admits his transgressions. He doesn’t try to justify his behavior. The New Bible Commentary notes that David shows, "A sense of personal accountability. Note the frequency of my iniquity, my transgressions, my sin. There is no evasion of responsibility here on the grounds of chance circumstance or an instinctive urge; no blaming of ignorance... no attempt to make Bathsheba share the guilt of adultery and murder. The wrong which has been done is David’s responsibility.... His depth of conviction is stressed in the words my sin is ever before me."

We must be like David. It is essential we realize that we are ultimately the only ones to blame for what we do. We must take responsibility for our actions. We have been disobedient to God, and we must realize, with David, "Against you, you alone, have I sinned."

Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me.

4. Why do we sometimes do what we know is wrong? What do you do to curb those wrong desires?

This is Step 3 – Realize that there will be times when you are disobedient to God, as is everyone else.

David is admitting his natural bent to sometimes do wrong. As Job 5:7 says, "But human beings are born to trouble just as sparks fly upward." We must realize that there will be times when we fail. It is only with God’s help that we can overcome. Admitting our wrong desires is a necessary step in dealing with guilt. But we cannot allow ourselves to think that we are the most wicked, or our transgressions are more awful than all other’s, or that we are somehow more filled with evil than the rest of humanity. These kinds of attitudes will simply keep us crippled with guilt. We may do evil, but we are no worse than everyone else. Isaiah 64:6 informs us, "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

It is because of this very weakness in ourselves that we need to depend on the strength of God. Once we realize our weaknesses, then we better understand how important it is for us to stay close to God and to walk in the right way, to learn of God and study scripture. As the psalmist wrote in Psalm 119:133, "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.."

You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.

5. Can you be honest with yourself? Why do we find it difficult to see ourselves as we truly are?

This is Step 4 – Be honest with yourself.

David says, "you desire truth in the inward being." God wants us to be honest with ourselves, not like the man described in James 1:23-24, "He is like a man who observes his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like."

God wants us to see ourselves clearly. It may not be easy, but we need to identify our weaknesses so we know where we need God’s help and we can steer away from situations where we might fall. We also need to identify our strengths so we can focus in on those areas where we need to allow the Holy Spirit to help us reach our spiritual potential. When we enumerate our weaknesses and place them in God’s hand, we understand that when we fail – and we will fail – God is working on our weakness and will bring us through. So our focus is not on our worthlessness, but on God’s love for us that is helping us despite our failings.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

6. Does it sound like David expected to be forgiven by God? Have you ever felt that you did something so bad that God wouldn’t forgive you?

These verses bring us to Step 5 – Have confidence that you are forgiven. Trust God and let go of your guilt.

To be victorious in overcoming your feelings of guilt, it is essential that you believe you are forgiven. You cannot remain crippled with guilt. You must believe that you are forgiven.

Have different people read Isaiah 43:25, 1 John 1:9, Psalm 103:12 and Micah 7:18-19

God has promised to not remember our transgressions in Isaiah 43:25 – "I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins." We are promised to be forgiven in 1 John 1:9 – "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." God removes our sins far from us in Psalm 103:12 – "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." God buries our sins in Micah 7:18-19 – "Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity ... You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea."

The Example of the Prodigal Son

In the story of the Prodigal Son, before he could accept the blame, he had to come to his senses. Luke 15:17 reads, "When he finally came to his senses." In David’s case, God had to send Nathan the prophet to bring him to his senses. God had to blind Paul on the road to Damascus in order to bring him to his senses. We may not like to think about it, but sometimes we need to ask ourselves, what will it take for us to come to our senses? Returning to the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, we find the son coming to the father for forgiveness (verse 21). But what happened next? They clothed him and fed him and celebrated his return. Did the son refuse the clothes or the food because of his sorrow? No. He joined in the celebration rejoicing! Spurgeon certainly had this story in mind when he wrote, "A penitent need not ask to be a hired servant, or settle down in despairing, content with perpetual mourning; he may ask for gladness and he shall have it; for if when prodigals return, the father’s glad, and the neighbors and friends rejoice and are merry with music and dancing, what need can there be that the restored one himself should be wretched?" That’s a good question. If you are forgiven, why do you still allow feelings of nagging guilt? David in verse 8 said, "Make me to hear joy and gladness." That should be our attitude also. As the father of the prodigal said in Luke 15:32, "But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." And so should we also celebrate. We have been forgiven. Now that’s something to rejoice about!

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.

7. Have you ever felt like you needed a "new and right spirit"? How does God give us a new heart?

This is Step 6 – Let God change your attitude.

As we read verse 10, we have to agree with Halley that it is, "...a prayer we all would do well to pray constantly." David wants a clean heart and a right spirit, but he realizes he cannot do it himself. He needs God’s help. And so do we. We need to let God change our attitude.

There are two areas the Holy Spirit wants to help us with:

1. change our desires – as Romans 12:2 tells us, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind."

2. discipline our thoughts – as 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "...bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

Share how Bible reading and study has helped you.

As we allow God to change our attitude, we will find our thoughts and desires changing. We will understand our failings, and we will understand God’s mercy. Those overwhelming feelings of guilt over past transgressions will begin to diminish as we see God placing a right spirit within us. We need to allow God to do this work in our heart and our mind.