Two Are Better than One

Part 1 – A Family Bound Together by God
Lesson 2 – Two Are Better than One

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

First, we want to look at this portion of scripture in Ecclesiastes. It teaches us the advantage of being a family, of being united together. It teaches us that two or three are better than one. As the wonderful English poet John Donne wrote in 1623, "No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.

Why do you think two are better than one?

This portion of Ecclesiastes is interesting. This is Solomon’s thesis on the vanity of self-centered pursuits of individual gratification. Now in chapter 4 he shows the disadvantages of being alone. He says that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. In a practical sense this is true, of course. But it is also true in an emotional sense. When we are sharing our life with someone, we share our hopes and dreams as well as our mistakes and frustrations. We are an encouragement and help to each other. There is a bond that exists between us. This is why families are so important.

Matthew Henry tells us, "Now Solomon shows here, by divers instances, that it is not good for man to be alone; he designs hereby to recommend to us both marriage and friendship.... Man, in paradise itself, could not be happy without a mate, and therefore is no sooner made than matched."

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.

How can we lift other family members up?

One advantage of being a part of a family is when one falls, the others can help lift him up. A family is our own support group. We feel stronger and more secure just knowing someone is there for us. Even when we are facing difficult times of confusion or despair, it is comforting to know that there are others who care about us. We don’t have to face the world alone. We have our spouse, our children, our parents, our family. We can lift each other up.

11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone?

Describe different warmths we can receive as family members.

Verse 11 is talking about physical warmth in a harsh environment, but there are many warmths that we share as a family. We feel the warmth of each other’s love, we sense the warmth of caring for each other and sharing our lives together. We are embraced by the warmth of words of encouragement and support. We experience a warmth when we help our family members, when our children look to us for help, when our spouse looks to us for comfort. Being a family gives us a real warmness.

12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

What are the threats today to overpower family members? How do we gain strength as a family?

There are many threats to family life. The most insidious one is immoral behavior which divides members of the family – whether it’s illicit sex, drugs, or alcohol – there are many pressures from our society. But when a family is united, it stands strong to resist these attacks. Solomon tells us a threefold cord is not quickly broken. So it is with a family of parents and children that is united in Christ. We can be stronger together than alone. We can feed off of each other’s strength and commitment. A family united in God can overcome many problems that would destroy other families.

Jamison-Fausset-Brown amplifies on the threefold cord, "proverbial for a combination of many, e. g., husband, wife, and children.... Untwist the cord and the separate threads are easily broken."

Genesis 2:18-24

In order to understand God’s plan for families, we need to see how God instituted the first family. There are some important lessons from this section in Genesis of God’s purpose in forming a family. He not only created the first family, but he also gave us his reason for doing things.

18 And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.

20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

Why is it that God did not want us to be alone? What was God’s purpose for Adam’s new wife?

God knew that man needed a helper. In verses 19-20 we see how Adam had the companionship of the birds and the animals, but this was not enough. We need human companionship. That is why God established families. Notice he said, "It is not good that man should be alone." God knew the strength and benefits we would receive from a family relationship.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.

22Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

Why do you think Eve was taken from Adam’s rib? Why wasn’t she just formed from the dust like Adam?

Humankind is created from the dust only once. After that, life begets life. So God creates Eve from Adam’s rib. Much has been already written and said about Eve coming from Adam’s rib. She did not come from his head to rule over him nor from his foot to be trampled under him. She came from his side to be equal with him. She came from the rib since it was close to Adam’s heart and it was the place where he would hold her close under the protection and comfort of his arm. As Adam Clark wrote, "If the word be rendered scrupulously literally, it signifies one like, or as himself, standing opposite to or before him. And this implies that the woman was to be a perfect resemblance of the man possessing neither inferiority nor superiority but being in all things like and equal to himself."

But I think the reason why Eve was created from Adam is because God knew that men would be born of women so he wanted the first woman to come from the man. As Paul explained in 1 Corinthians 11:11-12, "Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God."

This dependence on each other is expressed by Adam in verse 23, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." Husbands and wives are part of each other. We are united together by God. We are no longer single and separate entities. We are now united in love, in purpose, and hopefully in commitment.

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

What does this verse teach us about starting a new family?

Verse 24 gives us important instruction on the secret to a successful family. When two people marry, they are forming a new relationship. They will always be emotionally attached to their extended family – their siblings, parents, and other relatives. But they must physically move from that extended family to their new family. Husband and wife are now one flesh, and are beginning a new entity divinely appointed by God. Many families have all kinds of problems because they never quite make a clean break from their parents or other relatives. Our allegiance must be to our new family – our spouse and children. We can still visit, help, and love our parents, but we now have a new priority toward our new family.

Matthew 19:4-6

In this section of scripture Jesus confirms the marriage arrangement given in Genesis and adds an additional thought. The fact that Christ would repeat this plan for the family indicates that this has been God’s plan right from the beginning.

4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’

5 "and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

How are forces in our society today trying to destroy marriages and families?

After Jesus confirms the account in Genesis, he adds the words, "what God has joined together, let not man separate." There are many forces that attempt to destroy marriages and families in our society today. The biggest lie from Satan is to convince a spouse that they are not "fulfilled" in their marriage. Too often, people today live in a dream world and expect everything to be wine and roses all the time. There come times in the life of every family when there will be struggles. Sometimes being part of a family requires hard work, but it is worth it. It was God’s intention all along that what he has joined together would stand.

Matthew Henry comments, "God himself instituted the relation between husband and wife in the state of innocence. Marriage and the sabbath are the most ancient of divine ordinances. Though marriage be not peculiar to the church, but common to the world, yet, being stamped with a divine institution, and here ratified by our Lord Jesus, it ought to be managed after a godly sort, and sanctified by the word of God, and prayer. A conscientious regard to God in this ordinance would have a good influence upon the duty, and consequently upon the comfort, of the relation."

Footnotes:

Donne: For Whom the Bell Tolls, from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions XVII