Being a Trustworthy Father

Introduction

Crannell wrote in 1929, "A symmetrical and beautiful picture of the duties and character of the ideal human father may be built up from the Old Testament, with added and enlarged touches from the New Testament. He loves, commands, instructs, guides, encourages, warns, trains, rebukes, punishes, chastens, nourishes, delights in his son and in his son’s wisdom, he is considerate of his children’s needs and requests, considerate of their burdens or sins, tenderly familiar, considerately self-restrained, having in view the highest ends, pitiful, the last human friend to desert the child."

Recently I participated in The Sporting News online sports contest. Each person sent in their pre-season comments on the NFC West in the National Football League. To my amazement, my comments on the San Francisco 49ers were judged the best and they sent me a T-shirt with The Sporting News logo on it as my prize!

As I was thinking of an appropriate message for Father’s Day, it dawned on me how many lessons we fathers can learn from a professional football team. Proverbs 4:1 tells us, "Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight."

Trainer

Early this spring many of the San Francisco 49ers began a weight training program under the supervision of the team’s trainer. Junior Bryant is projected as the new starter at Defensive Tackle and so he is trying to put on more bulk since he "only" weighs 275 lbs. which is considered small for a defensive tackle. Chuck Levy, a running back, is also trying to put on more muscle to help avoid injury this year. It is up to the trainer to make sure these players follow their weight room regimen without overdoing it.

As fathers, we are also trainers. We are preparing our children, not for the upcoming football season, but for their upcoming life. What kind of job are we doing? Proverbs 22:6 tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." So let us be good trainers.

Offensive Coordinator

During this time of year the Offensive Coordinator is trying to get everyone to learn the playbook. Jim Druckenmiller, the back up quarterback, signed with the team late last year. So he wasn’t prepared for what happened early in the season. The starting quarterback was injured in the first game and Druckenmiller had to start the second game. Even though the 49ers won the game, Druckenmiller did not have a particularly good game. In fact, he threw 3 interceptions. To avoid that possibility this year, Druckenmiller has been spending 7 hours a day, 5 days a week learning the offense. By the time the season starts, he will know the playbook like the back of his hand.

As parents, we need to be willing to spend time teaching our children the most important book ever written – the Bible. Time spent learning scripture and understanding Biblical concepts when children are young will help them as they get older and face times of temptation, challenges, or difficulties. Let us teach our children God’s playbook. As Psalm 119:11, tells us, "I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee."

Offensive Line

The job of the Offensive Line is to make openings for the runner. To smooth out the pathway ahead. In a way this is part of a father’s job too. Much of a Dad’s assistance comes in this preparation. We don’t just throw our children into situations without taking the time to learn what is expected of them. So many parents seem to expect that their children will just somehow grow up all by themselves. But we need to be there to support them along the way. To lead the way when they are younger. Proverbs 4:12 tells us the result, "When you walk, your step will not be hampered; and if you run, you will not stumble."

Quarterback

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this before, but quarterbacks usually throw passes to new receivers that are easy to catch so they can be successful. The difficult, in traffic passes, usually go to more experienced receivers. That’s why you hear that a quarterback has favorite targets. Last year when Jerry Rice was injured, quarterback Steve Young was forced to work with two relatively inexperienced receivers – JJ Stokes and Terrell Owens. At the beginning of the season he would try to place the ball in such a way that only his receivers could catch the ball or everyone would miss it. As the year progressed, he was able to throw more difficult passes in heavy traffic. The two young receivers gained valuable experience and confidence from the careful pass selections of their quarterback.

It is the same when we are raising our children. We need to give them challenging tasks that they can complete successfully. And then as they gain in ability and confidence we need to be willing to give them more responsibility. This is sometimes not easy, but as we place more trust in our children, we will find that even though they sometimes will mess up, they will usually rise to the new challenge. Proverbs 4:11 tells us, "I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." Let us be willing to lead and to guide.

Another job of the quarterback is to be willing to hand off the ball quickly to the Running Back so that he can hit the open spot quickly. We as fathers sometimes want to hold onto things too long. We want to be in control and keep the ball to ourselves. But in order for our children to be successful, we need to be willing to give them the responsibility so they can learn how to make the right decisions for themselves. If the quarterback hangs onto the ball too long, the runner will be tackled behind the line of scrimmage. We need to let go and not hang onto our children too long.

Receivers

The Receivers have to run their routes every time, and not just go through the motions. Last year against Kansas City, wide receiver JJ Stokes played a lackluster game. He would just run his routes very sloppily. He didn’t challenge the defenders at all. As Dads we need to be careful that we aren’t just going through the motions. Every time we are with our children, we need to do our very best to be the kind of fatherly influence that they need. If we only go through the motions, our children will sense that we don’t think they are that important.

Defensive Line

The job of the Defensive Line is to stop anyone from penetrating into the defense. They are the first line to stop the offensive attack. Last year the San Francisco 49ers were #1 in the league against the run. Their defensive linemen could stuff many vaunted running attacks. As fathers we must protect our children. We are their first line of defense. We might be able to see potential problems before they do. There will be times when we need to take a tough stand and say no. This means we have to be ever alert for potential problems in our children’s lives. Defensive linemen can never take it easy for a play or two, because that will be the time when the other team breaks through for a long gain. So we as parents can never relax our vigilance. We must be faithful to the parenting responsibilities God has given us. As Proverbs 3:3 tells us, "Let not loyalty and faithfulness forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."

The Safety

On the Defense, the last line of defense is called the Safety. Their job is to come to the rescue when things have gone out of hand. As our children grow older, we become like a defensive safety. Our children may get in trouble, but we are there as a safety net ready to help and encourage them. They are, after all, our children. And we love them no matter what kind of trouble they might get into. We need to be willing to be there for them. Proverbs 3:23 says, "Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble."

Kicker

Field position is extremely important in professional football. The idea is to kick that ball as far away as possible and pin the other time far back on their own side of the field. The 49ers had some trouble in this area last year. So this year they are trying out two new young kickers. None of them are known for their high percentage of field goal kicking, but both of them have strong legs and can kick the ball far into the other players’ end of the field.

There are times when we fathers have to kick some things out of our house. We say we don’t want our children to smoke, but are we willing to kick the smoking habit ourselves? We say we don’t want our children to have a bad temper, but are we willing to kick our own bad temper out of the house? Some things need to be booted out of our family. As the father, we need to take the lead.

Coach

Have you ever noticed that after a player has really blown it, there are two kinds of football coaches. One that rants and raves at the player, and the other that tells the player words of encouragement. After someone has really blown it, Steve Mariucci, the coach of the 49ers, is the kind who encourages his players. There was one play last year when JJ Stokes, the young receiver, made a costly mistake. As Stokes came to the sideline, he was met by his coach who patted him on the back and told him they’d get it back next time. The next time the 49ers had the ball, Coach Mariucci called a play to Stokes. He made a brilliant catch.

As fathers we need to be careful that we don’t discourage our children. As Colossians 3:21 warns us, "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Let us be the kind that encourages them. Fathers sometimes have to discipline, but let us not be so harsh that we break the spirits of our children. Let us be an encouragement and a help to them. And just like a good coach, even when our children blow it, let’s not give up on them.

A good coach gets his team prepared for the football season. A good father gets his children prepared for life. It is a lot of training, discipline, and hard work. But when we see our children succeed, we know that all the time and hard work was worth it.

Link to Study Notes

Footnotes:

If you would like to read my comments on the 49ers, they are included as the Study Notes.



	Father's Day – Proverbs (selections)